Sparklecakes

Archive for December, 2008|Monthly archive page

Bat girl

In Uncategorized on December 12, 2008 at 9:34 pm

Earlier this evening, after I had put D to bed, the twins and I were quietly vegging out on the floor while I fed them their pre-dreamland bottles.  How lucky was I to be surrounded by such beautiful babies making the most adorable sucking sounds? *sigh*  While reflecting on my blissful mommy moment, I saw something move erractically out of the corner of my eye.  As I opened my mouth to tell the dogs to lie back down, I realized the absolute horror that was flailing all over my house;

There was a bat in our house!!!

There was a winged creature from hell in our house!!!

I screamed.  I shrieked.  I did one of those full body convulsions accompanied by a sound that was a cross between a horse neighing and the “Woooo!” sounds that those idiot sitcom audiences make when a couple kisses.  There was a bat in my living room flying right above me and I just knew it was going to attack me!  I pulled the blanket that I had wrapped around my shoulders up over my head, and over my now hysterical twins, and laid down as flat as I could against the ground.  I waited.  I listened. 

“Disco?” 

Nothing.

“Bennie?  Java?  GET IT!  Damn it!  GET IT!!”

I slowly lift the blanket up to peek out at my “loyal” dogs.  Disco is laying on her side a few feet from me staring above her with wide eyes.  I’m convinced she was playing dead.  I heard Bennie’s tags tinka-tink their way up the stairs and away from the Winged Rat of Death.  That left Java….our most lovable but, by no means, our brightest dog.  From the noises she was making, I’m pretty sure she was chasing it through the house like she does butterflies in the back yard; dopily and half-assed. 

After shrieking at my mom, my dad (who, by the way, LAUGHED at me), and my husband (who was at work) on the phone, I decided to make a break for it.  I picked up a baby in each arm, threw the blanket over us like some kind of weird, red, fleece ghost costume and charged up the stairs, falling once on the landing when I was positive that it smacked into the back of my head. 

When all was said and done, the kids were safe, my husband caught and released the damn thing back outside, and I am permanantly traumatized.  Of all the creatures to make their way into our house, why bats???  WHY?!

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