Archive for March, 2009|Monthly archive page

Excuse me while I crawl into a hole and die

In Uncategorized on March 24, 2009 at 12:44 pm

I was on the phone with my sister earlier the other day and I hear her hubby mumbling in the background as we’re discussing her impending baby shower. 

“What did he say?”

“Oh, nothing,” my sister replies.  “He just decided to take a dose of asshole this morning.”

I laugh at her cleverness.  My sister has an insane sense of humor that I absolutely adore about her.  I have never been able to channel the wit that my dad obviously passed down to her.  I try, but I usually fail miserably.  It’s ok though, I’m still the funniest person I know.

Moving on.

A friend of my hubby’s and mine calls later that day asking to speak with him.  Hubs and I had just had a battle over where we would be eating out (my vote was for Panera, he wanted Qdoba) and when D sided with his Mommy, hubby decided to baby-it-up and give the twins a run for their money in the fit category.  So, feeling a little sassy and trying to channel my sister’s fun little one liners, I dig myself into the most embarrassing phone conversation I’ve ever had.

“Hey, Sarah.  Can I talk to your husband?”

“Oh, I’m sorry.  He’s not here right now.  But….. (no, Sarah!  SHUT UP!  SHUT UP!!!) you can talk to my asshole.”

(crickets, crickets)

Yeah, I said it.  It happened.  In trying to be fun and playful and a smart mouth and call my husband an asshole, I told his buddy that he could chat with my butt. 

There’s no coming out of that gracefully.


Went to a party on a Saturday night….

In Uncategorized on March 19, 2009 at 10:36 pm

Ultimate Blog Party

Ok…it’s techincally ridiculously late on a Thursday night or early Friday morning, however you wish to look at it, but “it ain’t no big thang.”  (Tell me you put the title of the post and that last quoted snippet together.  Lita Ford?  Kiss Me Deadly?  Ugh.)

5 Minutes for Mom is having their annual Ultimate Blog Party and all of us sassy bloggers are invited!  All you have to do is put your blog up on the Mr. Linky widget and get ready to mingle with bloggers you’ve never met before.  Hit as many blogs as you can from the main page and make some new bloggy friends!  Go comment crazy!  Find new reads for your RSS feed!  This is the time to notice and get noticed. What’s more? There are some SWEET giveaways. Kitchen Aid mixers, jewelry, the whole nine yards. I would love any of the giveaways, especially if it’s for mamas, or boys in the age range of 12 months to 4 years.  It’s my first UBP and I want to meet as many of you as possible.  My goal is to comment 3/4 of the party goers without making my children computer orphans.  Possible?  We’ll see.

For those of you visiting, a big hello and welcome!

I’m Sarah, aka Queen Mommy.  I’m a mama to 3 boys (D, 4 yrs. and 9 mo. old twins C and DM), wife to the love of my life for just about 7 years, and a SAHM who failed miserably in domestic goddess training.  I write about the everyday laughs that happen raising while raising 3 boys and try to throw in helpful tips and tricks on everything from parenting to bat patrol.  I attempt to avoid politics (but sometimes I just can’t help it), I’m in love with all things medical (I’m in my last year of nursing school), and if you’re a smart mouth sass queen, chances are good that I want to be your friend.

25 Random Things About Me

  1. For some reason, in high school I only dated percussionists in the marching band.
  2. I was a band geek.
  3. And no, I never went to band camp.
  4. I have a dirty habit of watching the Fox Reality Channel when I’m home alone.  Lord help me, I love me some Temptation Island.
  5. If you pulled up next to me in my car, you’d think I was having a seizure and screaming.  In reality, I’m having my own private concert.
  6. When I need a pick me up, I put in Franz Ferdinand’s “Take Me Out,” put on my 4 inch heels, and “walk the runway.”  You laugh, but try it. 
  7. My parents buy me monkey crap.  Tons of monkey crap.  I was known as the “Monkey Lady” in my old ‘hood.
  8. I knew I wanted to marry my husband when he came to pick me up for our first date. 
  9. We had so much fun our first date that we literally sat by the vet’s memorial in Indy, in the pouring rain, talking about everything under the sun for hours.
  10. We never took a honeymoon, we got married in a courthouse, but I can’t imagine life without being as happy as I am when I wake up next to him every morning.
  11. If I could be anywhere right now, I’d be on the beach in Wilmington, NC.
  12. I used to drive 12 hours straight after leaving work to see my hubby at Ft. Bragg while we were dating. 
  13. If it is warm outside and it starts raining, chances are I’m playing in it.
  14. I am the biggest know-it-all you’ll ever meet.
  15. I come by my faults honestly.
  16. When I was little, I wanted to be the president, then a veterinarian, and then the president’s veterinarian. 
  17. Now I’m a stay at home mom. 
  18. I wish I could tell my high school pre-calculus and physics teachers how uncanny it is that I didn’t need to know all of their voo-doo bull crap in real life.
  19. Cupcakes are one of life’s simple pleasures. 
  20. I watch the Food Network. I’m an out of control foodie.
  21. Speaking of out of control, I have OCD.
  22. I’m going to be a gardening goddess this summer.
  23. I love Alaska and would love to live there again.
  24. I treat mail in my mailbox like it’s Christmas.  I LOVE mail.
  25. I love coffee.

Pull up a chair, grab a slice of pumpkin bread (seriously, the best recipe ever) and grab a cup from my loverA few Several of my favorite posts that I might direct you to:

Is there anything it can’t do?

Oh!  So that’s what they’re for!

Bat girl

These posts are fresh, funny, and are so adorable that they’re currently replacing teddy bears.  Ok, I don’t know about adorable.  I’m going to try some new stuff this week (a vlog for instance) so stick around, stick arounders.

Leave me some love and I’ll be sure to hit ya back.  Can’t wait to party with all of you!  This concludes the ice breaker portion of our party; on to the dance off!