Excuse me while I crawl into a hole and die

In Uncategorized on March 24, 2009 at 12:44 pm

I was on the phone with my sister earlier the other day and I hear her hubby mumbling in the background as we’re discussing her impending baby shower. 

“What did he say?”

“Oh, nothing,” my sister replies.  “He just decided to take a dose of asshole this morning.”

I laugh at her cleverness.  My sister has an insane sense of humor that I absolutely adore about her.  I have never been able to channel the wit that my dad obviously passed down to her.  I try, but I usually fail miserably.  It’s ok though, I’m still the funniest person I know.

Moving on.

A friend of my hubby’s and mine calls later that day asking to speak with him.  Hubs and I had just had a battle over where we would be eating out (my vote was for Panera, he wanted Qdoba) and when D sided with his Mommy, hubby decided to baby-it-up and give the twins a run for their money in the fit category.  So, feeling a little sassy and trying to channel my sister’s fun little one liners, I dig myself into the most embarrassing phone conversation I’ve ever had.

“Hey, Sarah.  Can I talk to your husband?”

“Oh, I’m sorry.  He’s not here right now.  But….. (no, Sarah!  SHUT UP!  SHUT UP!!!) you can talk to my asshole.”

(crickets, crickets)

Yeah, I said it.  It happened.  In trying to be fun and playful and a smart mouth and call my husband an asshole, I told his buddy that he could chat with my butt. 

There’s no coming out of that gracefully.

  1. Holy cow…that is the funniest thing ever! LOL, thank you for the laugh…I so needed it today!!

  2. I’m sorry.. but that is the funniest thing I have heard all day. It is totally something I would do!

  3. HAHAHAHAHA!!! That is hilarious!!! I stick my foot in my mouth on a regular basis. But this one totally tops me. LOL

  4. LOL!!! That’s awesome!!! Thanks for the laugh!

  5. LOL Oh no! Well, here’s hoping he’ll soon forget it.

  6. omg, you had me laughing so hard!

  7. So did he? Ha ha ha. That is so freakin’ funny!!!

    My son tries to make me talk to his but he is usually channeling Ace Ventura. 😉

  8. Looks like I could learn a thing or three from your sister!

  9. That actually had me laughing out loud. A literal LOL. Sarah, I hope you’ve recovered from that a little bit by now, and thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing that. It’s a gloomy day in NY, and I needed a good belly laugh!

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