The Noggin Scale of Hotness

In Uncategorized on April 7, 2009 at 1:31 pm

I’ve been a stay at home mom now for 4 years and have run the gammit of children’s television programming.  Noggin, PBS Kids Sprout, and the Disney Channel have all graced our family room television and provided D (with his brothers soon to follow, I’m sure) hours of non-stop preschool entertainment and me with those cherished moments to sit on my computer and blog fold laundry, start dinner, or the holy grail of mommy-alone-time:  peeing without interruption.

Of course, there are always those down days with nothing to do so that television time is spent either staring off into space catching up on some reading or pretending to enjoy the programming with your child.  Either way, chances are you’ve scoped out the guys who are entertaining your little ones while you have a chance to do whatever you’d like to do.

What is more coveted by a mom than those amazing instances where your kids are busy and you have time to paint your nails, shower, or wax your upper lip so you’re not so “creepy Aunt Edna?”  Nothing!  And this man is smiling at you and your child through the television screen, coaxing you to take a much needed break.  After all, he’s got it all under control and you deserve it.

Let’s count ’em down:  The top 10 men that make kiddie programming bearable and your daydreams anything but TV-Y.

martin10.  Martin Kratt  (Zoboomafoo): Not as cute as his brother, Chris, but certainly not horrible on the eyes either. For more on the Kratt brothers and why they make the list of deliciousness, go to #6.dave

9.  David (The Imagination Movers):  Boyishly cute and fun to look at.  If you can get past the dizziness (and really, ladies, we don’t watch these shows because they’re fun to talk to!) you might find yourself watching this show a little more often.

Anthony8.  Anthony-The Blue Wiggle (The Wiggles):  The blue Wiggle is totally drool-worthy.  Not only does he have that cute Aussie accent, but he makes that creepy show almost worth watching.  I never thought I’d ever say this about a Wiggle, but the guy is freaking hot.   



7.  DJ Lance (Yo Gabba Gabba!):  Take the Digital Underground like costume off of this guy, and you’ve got a serious hottie.



6.  Chris Kratt (Zoboomafoo):  Why, hello there eye candy! What’s so great krattabout the Kratt brothers, you ask? They teach our children about animals and the world all while teaching you the finer aspects of khaki crago shorts. I laugh at their jokes, I ooh and ahh over their expertise, and then I ogle their biceps. Who knew pythons could be so sexy?



5.  David (The Upside Down Show):  Not only are they cute and hilarious, but again- the Australian accent.  Is there anything hotter?  These guys manage to look hip and doable while acting like idiots.  The clip below makes me giggle every time.

4.  Shane (The Upside Down Show): See Above

3.  Rich (The Imagination Movers): If you read my UBP post, you knoRichw I have some weird drummer fetish. This guy fits the bill. Percussiony hotness with a twist of kid friendliness makes this show worth watching and gives this mommy a few minutes of la la land while doing the mundane.



Sportacus2.  Sportacus (Lazy Town): To be blunt, the accent and the tight ass do it for me. The little girl dressed in poodle pink from head to toe and the plastic puppets can’t even bring Sportacus’s hottness score down.




1.  Steve Burns (Blue’s Clues): The most adorable host there ever was! No offense to Joe, but part of Steve’s charm was that he wasn’t so in to dancing around like a goof and singing about shapes and colors. Joe just seems so….naieve? The greatest thing? Steve managed to reinvent himself and become an indie music rocker, and a pretty good one if I do say so myself. Once in awhile, you can catch him on Jack’s Big Music Show and if you ever need to talk…well, Steve’s here for you.

  1. Just found your site via Entrecard. Love the list! Mover Rich is my favorite then Anthony! Too funny!

  2. This cracked me up! My daughter watches some of these, maybe I need to start paying closer attention…lol!

  3. I love that you did this post, I giggled for hours thinking of our conversation about it!

  4. Oh yes…the only reason I watch lazy town to watch his muscles and ass flex… 😉 Didn’t you know that it’s really all for mom?!

  5. I LOVE that you did this blog post. I don’t know what it is but we must have the same taste in men because my favorite is Steve Burns followed by Rich, the drummer. I do like Anthony too although the Wiggles is really hard to swallow. Anthony can really dance! I like how he moves his hips. 🙂 I don’t have many other kids channels so I’m not as familiar with the others. I miss Steve a lot. Thankfully he made so many episodes that some still are new to me, although not many. I feel bad for Joe following in the footsteps of the very successful Steve. I feel like they wanted Joe to do things similar to Steve but it comes off as unoriginal and like he is just trying to mimic Steve. But yes, I’ve often though about how cute Rich is and I’ve wondered what he must be like for real. It is hard to watch grown men be so slow on the uptake. Know what I mean?

  6. I loved this post.. lol I don’t know who those zoo guys are, I’m going to have to see if we get that show. As I was reading it, I was wondering if Sparticus’s (sp?) biceps would make the top 10! 😀

    I’ve oogled some of the movers myself.. lol

  7. I’m bowing down to you on this one…. I’m glad I’m not the only freak who though that Sporticus was handsome… and we dont get many other kids channels, which is probably okay since I’d be drooling over some of those other guys that you listed here… But, can we not tell my husband? We’ll be moving soon and maybe I’ll be lucky enough to get more channels at the new house… oh to dream….

  8. Okay, I will agree with a good number of these, but maybe not the order. Chris and Martin – definitely, Anthony Field – yes!, Movers Dave and Rich – oh yeah, Shane (but not David) – is is the accent? Dunno, probably the eyes…the rest, eh…

  9. Is THE N a part of Noggin… ?? Or should we just create a whole new list….

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