Little Ears

In Uncategorized on April 16, 2009 at 7:14 am

I’ve got road rage. 

I mean, real, pure, nasty road rage.

There was a time when my hand pretty much road on the steering wheel directly over the horn for the duration of whatever trip I was on, four letter words flew out of my mouth, and random hand gestures similar to sign language (right?) were commonplace. 

Then the boys came into the world.

Suddenly, Mommy doesn’t really have that much freedom in the car for fear that Bubba would casually walk into preschool the next day (inside of a church! mind you) and inform his teachers of what a trucker his mother is.  If I’m lucky, maybe he’d throw in the fact that Brad and I take turns belching in the other’s ear and farting on each others pillows just for the sake of pushing buttons.  Anywho, I watch myself.  I really try to demonstrate the kind of person that I want him to be.  Occasionally, however, a few choice phrases, minus the swear words, escape my mouth.  It’s amazing how little ears pick up even the tiniest of mumbles.

We were walking through Trader Joe’s the other night, pushing our respective carts when Bubba decides he’s going to start tearing through the aisles with his little pint sized cart like it’s demolition derby time.  I begin to chase after him and start to yell, “SLOW DOWN!” as he headed straight towards an elderly couple in the frozen foods section.  I silently shriek inside as I watch him nearly miss the old man and yell, “Outta my way, grandpa!”  Oh. my. gosh.  NO!  My kinder, gentler, approach to road rage was shooting me in the foot!!

The couple watched as he whipped the cart back around and headed towards me laughing.  I grabbed his arm, told him through clenched teeth that he was making a RED CHOICE (oh hell, this trip was a red choice) and that he needed to tell the nice man and woman that he was sorry for being disrespectful.  He parrots my words and the woman tells him thank you and that he really needs to be more careful.  His response?  An exasperated, “Oh, come on!  Are you kidding me?”

Since when does he listen to everything I don’t necessarily want him using in everyday conversation and ignores simple directions and demands?  Sure, there are worse things he could be repeating, but I wonder if I wouldn’t rather him repeat swear words than phrases that are blatantly disrespectful when said from a child to an adult. 

Oy vey.

  1. Oy Vey! That’s so funny…and true. Man…mine just started to talk, I’m in SO MUCH trouble.

  2. Oh Sweet baby Jesus. I’m crying because I’m laughing so hard. That is some good stuff I tell you! Much better than my sweet innocent daughter walking around saying “SIT”. Because her mommy just said the naughty word. Yeahhhhh…

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