Archive for October, 2009|Monthly archive page

Look down and away from the camera, please

In Uncategorized on October 30, 2009 at 5:26 am

I was lying on the bed all sprawled out with my husband a few nights ago, talking about nothing in particular, stealing a few kisses here and there.  Nothin’ too schmexy.  Just all innocent, butterfly inducing goodness.  That’s when I suddenly got the overwhelming sense of de ja vu. 

I totally felt high school again.  *wretch*

But it was cute at the same time.  It is nice to know that after 7 years my man can still keep it chaste-kisses-intertwined-fingers-enamored-glances real with me.

I started laughing and told him how I felt completely juvenile at that point.  I mean, let’s face it.  Once married how often do you just kind of sit around and hand hold and cuddle and induce waves of nausea to all that witness the cuteness that is you in love?  Yeah, that’s what I thought.  Once you’re married, there is no more of that.  There’s barely even making out.  It’s, “Will you freaking just- no wait, you’re on my hair. You are fucking on my hair! God bless it.  Just hurry up, ok?  They’re all down for a nap for I don’t know how long and we need to reach quota.  *heavy breathing*  Did you take out the trash or no?” 

Anyway, the sudden back track into territory long since forgotten brought us to the topic of dating and high school; something I’m sure we’ve covered so many times before but this time I let a little more loose than I have in the past.

I was so freaking emo in high school.  I’m ashamed to say it, but I totally was.  I listened to Chris Carrabba like he was the patron saint of feelings and remember telling myself how his lyrics really spoke to me.  That I could <u>so</u> totally relate. 

Really, Sarah? 


Oh, it’s so true.  I had Dashboard’s The Places You Have Come to Fear the Most on repeat for weeks.  I remember listening to The Brilliant Dance after a break-up and having a good cry.  Again.  And again.  And again.  I mean, why wouldn’t a virginal 18-yr. old Sarah relate to lyrics about lost lovers and such?  Psh, I was totally hand holding and kissing by that time. 

Definitely scorned lover territory.

Holy shit do I want to rewind time and smack myself.  At the very least, I’d like to do some kind of verbal assault.   

“Hey former self!  Get out of bed and get dressed for God’s sake!  Will we be crying and singing lyrics again, today?  I mean, you dated him for a few weeks!  Casually, even!  Do we really need to wail out the lyrics to Bitter Pill?  Could you get a grip on yourself?  Oh!  You’re getting dress- a sweater with thumb holes in the sleeves?  A black hoodie…good.  Yeah, you need that.  Oh, yeah, definitely add on the Dickies and the Converse.  I mean, really, you’re going to need to dress like that in the summer.  Remember to stay out of the sun!” 

Former self would then proceed to drive around listening to more Dashboard and crying in the car.  But I digress, lucky does not even begin to describe what wonderful timing had to happen in order for me to meet Hubs after that wretched phase in my life.  While I rambled on and on to him about my emo phase, he looked utterly confused.  He knew that I was a bit of a wildcard in high school (I got my tongue pierced on a date…on a date, people.) and he’s always known me to be a bit of a drama queen, but he had no idea about the cheezy love affair with Chris Carrabba. 

What did come out of this besides a complete time suck?  Hubs now knows some of the lyrics to songs that I felt such a powerful connection to and listened to when I wanted vindication.  For me?  Obviously the trip down memory lane sparked some kind of trippy need in me because I proceeded to download the aforementioned album to my iPod.  Followed by the Ataris.  Followed by Reggie and the Full Effect….maybe a little New Found Glory, too. 

Slippery slope, kids.  Slippery slope.