Sparklecakes

Nougat

In Uncategorized on January 16, 2010 at 4:18 am

 “Babe!  I friggin’ dislodged my filling from my tooth.  Stupid frozen Snicker’s bar…”

“What?  You mean refrigerated.  I put it in the refrigerator for you.”

“Yeah, I know.  And then I moved it to the freezer.”

“What the hell?!  Why would you do that?”

“I dunno.  Why do you put Zingers in the freezer?  Because they taste better that way.  Jesus, you’re dense when you first wake up.”

“No, I’m not dense.  It’s not the same thing, Sarah.  Zingers are cake, they don’t freeze all the way!  It’s not like a Snicker’s bar.”

“Well a Snicker’s bar doesn’t freeze all the way either.  The nougat doesn’t get that hard….well, I mean, I guess it does.  But that’s not what ruined my tooth, it was the caramel.”

“Sarah, I’ve had nougat before.  It gets hard in the freezer.  Don’t bullshit me.”

“Oh really?  You’ve had a Snicker’s bar?  How’d that work out for you?  You’re allergic to peanuts.  I’m not buying what you’re selling.”

“No!  I’ve had frozen 3 Musketeers, ok?  It’s the same thing.”

“Um, actually it’s not the same thing, it lacks the caramel and peanuts that make a Snicker’s a Snicker’s.  Besides, that’s not nougat.  It’s like, whipped marshmallow shit with chocolate in it.”

“No, it’s not.  It’s nougat.  Listen to me!  Milky Way, Snicker’s, 3 Musketeers they’re all-”

“Made by Mars.  Contain more consanants than vowels.  Make no sense for being the name of a candy-”

“GAH!  NO!  Damn it.  They all have nougat.”

“No.  3 Musketeers does not.  I’m googling this shit.  And when I come back with an answer that backs up my own claim, I’ll have a list of demands.”

“Will one of those be to go fuck yourself?”

“Yeah, babe, one of my demands for you is for me to go fuck myself.  You’re stupid.”

“You’re stupid.”

I busy myself Googling as he begins to make his coffee for work.  I’m excited.  I’m giddy.  I love being right.  I love it so much I’m thinking about divorcing him and marrying myself.  I click on the 3 Musketeer’s website that Google provides me with and then-

“Well, what’s it say?  Am I right?”

“Ya know, babe.  It doesn’t matter.”

“Oh, yes!  I’m right!  I’m right!  YES!”

“You suck.  Who cares?  This is like one out of close to a billion times.”

He saunters over to me with his hand raised out like the damn Pope.  Seriously?  You’ve got to be kidding.

“Go ahead, Sarah.  Kiss the hand.”

I consider biting it. 

“Shut up.  I’m going upstairs.  I’m blogging about this.”

“And then everyone will know that you were wrong and I was right!”

“Are you kidding me?  I’m totally switching this around.  People are just going to think that you’re a douche who doesn’t know what nougat is.”

“Wha-?  Why?!  Oh, come on, Sarah!  You better tell it like it is.”

“No.  I get to be the hero on my blog.  You get to be my bumbling sidekick.  Know your role!”

Pointless arguments.  Just one of the many reasons that I am so vomitously in love with the wonder-man that is my husband. 

I love you, babe.  Happy Anniversary.

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  1. Awwwwww… So sweet.

    That’s true love. Truly.

  2. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by hailqueenmommy, Sparkle Cakes. Sparkle Cakes said: https://secondhandembarrassment.wordpress.com/2010/01/16/nougat/ […]

  3. Dude Happy Anniversary and I was seriously picturing you ready to smack him for gloating over his own bumbling luck of being right…for once.

  4. awww you guys are cute when you’re arguing. but i spent tho whole first part of the post going “og course it’s nougat! you can’t not know that!” sorry, you’re still the hero.

  5. LOL happy anniversary!

  6. that was seriously SO funny! life is a comedic slap in the face sometimes, huh? but i wouldn’t have know the difference in the candy-bars either… no worries.

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